Kedoshim                                                                                                                   David Fried   

V’ahavta L’reiacha Kamocha - Love your neighbor as yourself

            The Torah in Parshas Kedoshim tells us v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha.  Rashi brings down the shita (thought) of Rabbi Akiva that this is the klal gadol batorah - the most significant principle in the Torah. 

            But what does this great mitzvah actually mandate of us?  On the most literal read it means to love every Jew.  The Ramban highlights that practically it is not possible that we should really love every single Jew as much as we love ourselves.  He points out peculiar formulation in the pasuk.  It says v’ahavta l’reiacha, and not the normal v’ahavta et re’echa, as we see by v’ahavta et hashem elokecha.  He explains that v’ahavta et is actually talking about the emotional feeling of love, while v’ahavta l’ is describing behaviors that display love towards the other person.  He therefore explains that the ikar hamitzvah (essence of the commandment) of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha is that you should desire wealth and honor for others as much as you would desire them for yourself.  The Rambam, in Hilchot Deot gives a similar behavioral formulation.  He writes that the obligation is to show as much concern for the money and honor of every Jew as you would for your own.  The Ramban brings from Avos d’rabbi nasan (an aggadic work) that the limit of the principle of v’chei achicha imach (ensure your brethren can live amongst  you) applies to v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha.  Just like you don’t have to risk your life to save someone else’s life, likewise even though you have to be concerned from someone else’s money, you don’t need to do it at the expense of your own money.  The Chizkuni (13^th century commentator) associates v’ahavta l’reiacha k’mamocha with two principles found in the Talmud but not otherwise linked to this mitzvah: “Do unto others what is beloved to you,” and “That which is hated unto you, do not do unto others.”

            The Talmud in Sanhedrin quotes v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha in connection with barur lecha mita yafa.  Even when someone is chayav misa (guilty of a crime meriting execution by a beit din), the beit din has an obligation to make it as painless as possible.  This highlights two things.  One is that v’ahavta l’reacha kamocha doesn’t mean you can never do something unpleasant to someone.  Sometimes there are punishments that need to be carried out, and that too can be done out of love.  The second is that we see that v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha clearly applies to even the worst of sinners, since it applies to chayvei misas beit din.

            The Talmud in Kiddushin says that you have to see your wife before you marry her, lest you will not be attracted to her, and come to violate v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha.  This highlights a key principle that it is often with the people you are closest to and most intimate with that it is hardest to properly fulfill the obligation of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha.  Not being physically attracted to someone would not normally keep you from fulfilling v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, but if you’re not attracted to your spouse, then you risk not only not treating him or her with the extra love due your spouse, but even treating him or her worse than you would ever treat someone you’re not married to.

            The Rambam brings mentions v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha one more time, in Hilchot Evel.  He first informs of mitzvot d’rabanan (Rabbinic decrees) of bikur cholim (visiting the sick), nichum aveilim (consoling mourners), hotza’at hameit (timely funerals), hachnasat kallah (attending needs of a bride), and hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests).  He then adds that all of these are a kiyum (fulfillment) of the Biblical command of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, but the rabbis formalized them as chiyuvim (obligations).  We should appreciate the great brilliance in what Chazal did here.  The Sefer Hachinuch writes that the mitzvah of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha is supposed to create peace in the society.  It’s very easy to talk about big values like “love your neighbor”, “don’t do unto others what you would not have them done unto you”, “be concerned for your fellow Jew’s money and honor”, but it can be very hard to translate this into an actual behavioral norm of what to do.  By creating formal obligations Chazal ensure that v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha will be practically fulfilled because they recognize that people are much better at fulfilling specific behavioral requirements than at translating broad ethical principles into actions in their lives on their own.  Our fulfilling these rabbinic commands help ensure that we will actually have the peaceful society that the Biblical mitzvah is designed to achieve.